Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?4-7 min read

How much time do you spend with yourself? We are so drowned out by the millions of voices, the busyness, the clutter, the bombardment of ‘do this’, ‘buy that’ and ‘be this’, that we have forgotten our true nature.

I spent many years not knowing me and holding fear around being with my own thoughts. I didn’t like myself and therefore would avoid being honest with myself.

How can we be with ourselves if we do not know ourselves? How can we be full and content in the world, if we do not know the substance and essence of our expression? To know ourselves, we have to be with ourselves.

Without distraction, to hear (with clarity in our own voice), not the voices of many. To acquaint ourselves with our truth, values and magnificence that is us. Through stillness, silence and without the blaring sound of external opinions, will we fully know what we are capable of.

Ah, the elusive posture of stillness, nothing to hear, nothing to do, be or say. Have you ever immersed your sensory body long enough in the high mountains to truly know stillness, to truly embody silence.

We avoid ourselves because we are scared to acquaint ourselves with the truth of our feelings. In silence all is revealed. We keep ‘busy’ and distracted in order to avoid. Restlessness is the norm and its also our Achilles heel. We fear what we do not know, yet the paradox is that if we do not face the unknown it continues to plague our breath, being and quality of our relationships.

It is in our sense of silence that we become fully acquainted with our power and our truth. We cease to be confused, we can have a very clear conversation with ourselves about what we value and care about without external pressure.

To be alone is not a state of destitute or loneliness. To be alone is a gift to our path. How can we give to others if we do not give to ourselves? And we can only give to ourselves when we take the time to know ourselves in stillness and silence.

Now when we take this exposure to silence and stillness in to our intimate relationships we bring a previously unforeseen clarity and wisdom that can only come from spending intimate time with ourselves. Our now intimate counterparts needn’t guess.

They needn’t be on the ‘back foot’. They feel safe, they feel they can be themselves for they are viewing a stable and strong individual that is ready to speak their truth from a place of congruency and authenticity.

When we choose ourselves and choose to balance the expression of our lives from a place of external AND internal working we are well rounded and we are whole in our being and we bring this sense of wholeness in to all aspects of our lives.

Men, who are you if you are not able to be with yourself? What are you hiding? What are you embarrassed of? What are you fearful of?

One is always glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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