Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Love Is Conditional4-7 min read

There it is. I said what basically we all do. We all place conditions on the way we care for others, okay, well the VAST majority of us do. I know I have & so what, where to from here? Are standards, ideals, values & conditions bad?

If your partner is physically or emotionally abusing you consistently should you remain in that situation with no indication of change because you wish to have ‘unconditional love’?

The question is can we be compassionate, love & care for others irrespective of how they behave & treat themselves, us or others? The answer is yes, it’s possible.

And, that does not mean we allow others to mistreat us either. there is a fine line to all of this. Knowing ourselves & carrying a deep level of self-worth is everything when it comes to relationships.

When you care about your well-being and LOVE who you are & what you offer the world, anything that dims that light takes away from you joy, ability to express & gifts you give the world.

What will you tolerate? How will you allow others to treat or mistreat you? There is truth at some level of broader awareness that how we allow others to treat us is in part a reflection of how we treat ourselves in some way, shape or form.

Work on you. Get clear on who you are & how you wish to be in this world. Then attract that by acting in accordance with that. If you allow others to steal from you because you have a blood connection & your parents have always said respect your family, you won’t experience abundance and ease in your life because you’re perpetuating & accepting what you don’t deserve.

Unless you choose to prop yourself up on a mountain top and disengage from the world, then the exchange of love at this level and plain will be conditional. You have preferences and non-negotiables.

Exert them in an assertive and compassionate way. Be that person who believes in themselves & be that person who knows what they want. The only way to transcend any form of conditionality is to move through it. Embrace it, own it, be it in the world.

The question then begs to be asked, if any-THING (including love) is perceived to be conditional is it true & real love? Share your thoughts below ??

One is glad to be of service.

Cover image by the amazing French artist and psychologist Cyril Rolando

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker



4 Ways To Get What You Want In Relationships

Most people can (with ease) describe what they do not want in relationships distancing themselves from the partners and lovers by creating tension through the minimisation, externalisation and projection of their words…

The Real You

We want others to believe in us. We want to feel needed and be seen. We want others to understand us and love us for who we are, yet we seldom show our ‘true colours’.

We want the world and are often simply delivered an atlas. We do a great job of blaming and shaming the world around us for this and not getting out way.

The Underestimating Of Female Power

As a collective energy and historically men have disregarded the sacredness of women – the authentic power they bring and the presence they contain.
The narrative has been one of discrimination, segregation, divide, oppression and minimisation…

To Love Deeply All Women, We Must Love Profoundly One Woman

There is something deep that unravels within each man when he commits to anything of substance. Particularly, when he connects to the power of intimate relating. The unbridled commitment shared sparks something cosmic and yet grounding in the feminine.

Today’s Modern Warrior

In a world of dysmorphic alpha males that are attached to polarized and unhealthy expressive states of being, something needs to give… We tend to think that there are either alpha or beta males – firstly, this line of thinking is limiting (does alpha even truly exist???? And secondly, we have an opportunity to redefine what it means to be an ‘alpha’ male…

[et_social_follow icon_style="slide" icon_shape="circle" icons_location="top" col_number="auto" outer_color="dark"]