Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Owning Your Edge4-7 min read

Own who and what you are in the world. For a long time I hid away, fearful of being judged. If I wasn’t hiding I was compensating my fear of being seen and judged with a false bravado, inauthentic edge and aggressive entitlement.

When I sank in to the me that chooses to expand from a place of love and openness, I grew. I matured. I felt more and when I ‘did’, I did (took meaningful action) from a place of sincerity, deep intention and clear authority.

We spend so much time worried what others think of us and how they see us. Our self-worth is so tied up in the opinions of others. Most people are actually like you and I. So consumed with their own sense of self that they carry the same worries that you do.

We are not all that different. I remember a time when I wore so many varied masks, that I literally had to stop and ask myself who I really was. My values were distorted, I was consistently frustrated, I didn’t believe in myself and I lost the essence of who I was.

What kept the flame alit for me was my ability to still witness the flickering fire within, I could taste it in times of distress and pain. We all have a fire. Fire is the source of life – energy moving through time and space (not that we really know what time is).

We are creatures of comfort, although we haven’t always been that way. We thrive on doing our best to make lives easier for ourselves and matters of the heart are no different. When it comes to protecting the heart, we do what we can and this can at times mean losing ourselves in the process.

For me I avoided pain, I avoided being wrong, going against the status quo, disagreeing or being different (although I really did feel different). We are good at avoiding pain and it wasn’t until I embraced who I truly was that life became real for me.

I went though a period of being rebellious, not giving a fuck, being loud, outspoken and even arrogant. My pendulum had to swing between extremes before I could own a middle path. I embraced the difficult and I accepted all the parts of me.

I once cared little about myself, then little about others and now more about both in greater equanimity and equity. It hasn’t necessarily been easy, yet it’s been rewarding. Now, those in my life appreciate my truth as they know they get the real me with no illusions and no unpleasant surprises.

Who are you at your core? Even though we are evolving constantly, when we know our core essence, we take that power in to the world unapologetically, yet humbly and respectfully. My invitation to you is to practice being you with no attachment to outcome.

One is glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker



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