Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Stress Is The High Achiever’s Word For Fear4-7 min read

Men are so afraid of fear… We don’t have a healthy relationship for fear, so we leverage semantics to make ourselves feel better. What is mental and emotional stress truly a byproduct of?

In today’s day and age, we are overworked, we overthink, we place rigid expectations on ourselves and we are constantly trying to outplay the Jones’s. Why? There are many reasons, but let’s focus on one.

Our values. We value being better than everyone and how others see and perceive us more than our own sanity. We believe that the next raise, the next car, the next promotion, the next title, the next compliment will bring us salvation, ease and reprieve.

We are looking down a bottomless pit. We mask our fears of not being enough, not meeting some elusive standard, not being regarded as a ‘productive member’ of society or not being valued that we do and sometimes be anything we can to achieve what we think is necessary to be adored, celebrated and loved.

In the process we lose ourselves. This sense of ‘over-achieving’ is a hyper masculine trait, because it is imbalanced and it’s an ‘at any cost’ attitude. We become frustrated and feel so much pressure to perform to a standard we don’t even necessarily align with.

We are out of integrity but the social pressure is so much and so we just say “oh, I’m just stressed, I have a great deal on at the moment”. How LONG does that moment last for???

When we own and acknowledge our internal fears, we realise that we are not alone and we realise that our worth and value is not only predicated on doing and achieving more. Our character, intention and service plays a massive role in our sense of self.

Importantly, how WE, OURSELVES feel about who we are and how we show up is actually carries the most important impact on self-perception. There is nothing wrong with taking action and wanting to achieve.

It’s how we have evolved. The issue is when we are telling ourselves lies and pretending we are something we are not. When we mask our pain and suffering. When we neglect our fears and become lost in a sea of pointless doing to satisfy some norm that we don’t even care about.

Get clear on who you are by creating the space to know yourself – your whole self. And get real… what is truly responsible for your stress? Peak behind the veil…

One is glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Comments

comments

There Is Only Love

In a world where injustice has become an arbitrary term and deep, disconnected fear of connection, the ability to be authentic in lieu of being harshly judged and relational pain fills our lungs like an awful stench all we truly have is the embodiment…

Masculine Sexual Health

If we do not choose to connect deeply to those we share our sexual energy with, then who are we, why are we and what are we to ourselves? There is nothing ‘wrong’ with hedonistic urges and practices. This is a beautiful place to be and is necessary for us as men to explore in order to initially define ourselves, our needs, values and postures…

The Sacred Witnessing Within All Men

Men, can we observe, can we just be? Can we simply observe the tides that rise and fall within our minds? Can we feel the ebb and flow of our hearts? Can you witness all that is you, all that you have been and all that you may become? Can you change the direction of your course by acknowledging your authentic power…?

How To Integrate Your Shadow When Awakening

The spiritual path can be one of hardship, challenge, confusion and even isolation. One of commitment, dedication and often single-minded unwavering. The spiritual path follows a set of higher-order principles that govern our existence…

[et_social_follow icon_style="slide" icon_shape="circle" icons_location="top" col_number="auto" outer_color="dark"]