Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

Stress Is The High Achiever’s Word For Fear4-7 min read

Men are so afraid of fear… We don’t have a healthy relationship for fear, so we leverage semantics to make ourselves feel better. What is mental and emotional stress truly a byproduct of?

In today’s day and age, we are overworked, we overthink, we place rigid expectations on ourselves and we are constantly trying to outplay the Jones’s. Why? There are many reasons, but let’s focus on one.

Our values. We value being better than everyone and how others see and perceive us more than our own sanity. We believe that the next raise, the next car, the next promotion, the next title, the next compliment will bring us salvation, ease and reprieve.

We are looking down a bottomless pit. We mask our fears of not being enough, not meeting some elusive standard, not being regarded as a ‘productive member’ of society or not being valued that we do and sometimes be anything we can to achieve what we think is necessary to be adored, celebrated and loved.

In the process we lose ourselves. This sense of ‘over-achieving’ is a hyper masculine trait, because it is imbalanced and it’s an ‘at any cost’ attitude. We become frustrated and feel so much pressure to perform to a standard we don’t even necessarily align with.

We are out of integrity but the social pressure is so much and so we just say “oh, I’m just stressed, I have a great deal on at the moment”. How LONG does that moment last for???

When we own and acknowledge our internal fears, we realise that we are not alone and we realise that our worth and value is not only predicated on doing and achieving more. Our character, intention and service plays a massive role in our sense of self.

Importantly, how WE, OURSELVES feel about who we are and how we show up is actually carries the most important impact on self-perception. There is nothing wrong with taking action and wanting to achieve.

It’s how we have evolved. The issue is when we are telling ourselves lies and pretending we are something we are not. When we mask our pain and suffering. When we neglect our fears and become lost in a sea of pointless doing to satisfy some norm that we don’t even care about.

Get clear on who you are by creating the space to know yourself – your whole self. And get real… what is truly responsible for your stress? Peak behind the veil…

One is glad to be of service.

Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker
Stef Sifandos
Relational Alchemist, Community Builder & Changemaker

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